I Respect That
by Aralia spinosa
Summary: Just another "get into Raven's head" story. The Titans attempt to understand the Empath better as her dark side, intensified with the presence of Trigon, begins to fight.
1. Default Chapter

I do not own any of these characters, all scenarios are from the ideas of a fan of these characters and are unofficial  
  
Raven wore an expression of intense concentration that morning. A cold mug of coffee sat before her, abandoned with the arrival of that day's newspaper. The dark half-human pursed her lips as her conscious screamed not to get overly concerned. She glanced at the front-page image for the second time when her emotions felt sufficiently subdued.  
  
It was a small preview image for the third-section article, not a particularly alarming scene, but very odd. Throughout San Francisco, all of the streetlights of generic design had been destroyed, many taking small power lines with them. Raven groaned inwardly, she had a very strong hunch as to what (or rather, who) had done it.  
  
The rest of the group had hung back all morning. Beast Boy had been tempted more than once to prod at whatever weight seemed to be resting on the girl's shoulders, but Cyborg intervened each time. Everyone sat around with the usual breakfast chatter, consciously ignoring Raven's current pensive behavior.  
  
"Cy..." Everyone looked at the dark lady, surprised that she had broken the pattern of pondering silence.  
  
"What's up, Rae?" Cyborg inquired rather softly, aware of Raven's concern despite all of her attempts to force it away.  
  
"I need to talk... in confidence." Without another word she floated out into the hall.  
  
The choice of who to talk to was obvious for Raven. Cyborg and she had become very close recently. The mechanical jock was the first person she had developed a true bond with, and she trusted nobody else as deeply as he. She gave her truest friend as real a smile as she could muster at that moment as he joined her, Beast Boy's complaints echoing from the kitchen. ("Oh sure! Share with the guy who can be reprogrammed to forget!") Beast boy had not taken well to the thought of the newfound bond between Raven and Cyborg, which had come so easily. The changeling felt that his attempts at getting Raven to open up where greater than anyone else's, and yet, it had taken scarcely a week for his metal rival to grow close to her.  
  
"Are you okay Dark Girl?" Cyborg tentatively placed his large hand on her shoulder; Raven's concern was much more evident then. "You saw the paper, right?" "Sure I did," the jock replied, wondering where this was going. "Those streetlights, I think I am the one responsible for taking them down." Well, she had never been one to beat around the bush. Cyborg stepped back some, studying her face. "But...how would you have-" "Done it?" Raven closed her eyes and shook her head slightly, indigo strands of hair falling over her face, "my powers freak out constantly." "So something's been bothering you..." Cyborg caught on. "And it's apparently expressing itself at night while I sleep." Raven gave an empty sigh, a light bulb shattered overhead. "Man, this is really eating at you, huh." It was more of a statement than a question, and was treated thusly. "The weird thing is... I don't do it while I'm awake. I think whatever feeling is doing this has been so suppressed... that it expresses itself when I sleep." "Could it be a fluke? I mean, this is the first time this has happened, right?" "Well... no." There was a slight pause and Cyborg gave an inquiring expression. "Last week, I woke up each night and the tower had been torn apart by my powers... stuff scattered everywhere. I was able to get everything back by morning. I tried to stay awake for the nights following, but last night I couldn't. The issue must have built up, making the damage greater when I eventually slept again." "What are you gonna do Rae?" Raven's tone was dry, "I was kind of hoping you could help me with that." "Where do we start?" This issue was uncomfortable for Raven. She was asking her best friend to help track down something she must have fought very hard to suppress. "I've been trying to think of when during my time awake I lose control... trying to notice any sort of pattern." "Well, whenever you see Star watching 'Aladdin' your eye twitches and the lights flicker," Cyborg recalled with a grin. Raven nearly laughed, her hood rustling with a slight expression of power. It figured that Cyborg couldn't ever be completely serious. "Somehow..." Her tone was flat yet amused, "I don't think that's my problem." "Hey you never know!" He was glad to see his friend's mood lighten to the usual sarcastic nature, "maybe some deep-seeded and well-hidden desire for romance is setting you off." "Or... not," Both grinned. "Don't sweat it Rae, we'll figure it out. Just relax for now, you look terrible." He smirked as she glared, and both turned back towards the rest of the group.  
  
---------  
  
"You call that a MOVE? What are you, stupid?"  
  
"Stupid?! Hey just because I'm handsome-"  
  
"About as handsome as Star's cooking!"  
  
Despite his attempts at concentration, Robin found himself rather amused listening to Beast Boy and Cyborg quarrel, having to smother a chuckle at the last comment with his book.  
  
"What does Cyborg mean...? I do not understand?" Starfire's question was directed towards Raven, as the two had been immersed in a game of cards. Raven and Robin exchanged amused glances from the opposite ends of the room before the empath answered, "It's nothing, Starfire."  
  
"I see, in that case... rummy, correct?" The alien girl held up her cards for Raven to inspect.  
  
"Right. You're getting good at this game."  
  
"It is much fun," Starfire smiled. She was glad to have finally connected with the distant Raven, and enjoyed having a relatively close friendship with the other girl. Among being good companions to one another, it was less isolating to have another girl around.  
  
"It's still raining..." Raven stretched her torso and stood up as she made the observation. "It's been pouring for hours."  
  
"It is very dark as well," Starfire added, "as though night has never left us."  
  
And it was dark, very dark. In fact, raven noticed, it seemed to be getting darker by the second. A dreadfully familiar sense kicked in, and the girl swayed with nausea. Her body ice cold, Raven's powers flared in a shield around her, and she was dragged into the confines of a scorned reality. It was a land built upon sin, a constantly twisting and intensifying dimension of chaos, her father's realm.  
  
"Soon," a deep voice, the voice of Trigon, boomed the simple word. All at once, Raven was hit with all of the negative memories and emotions her mind could fathom. Every ounce of pain or suffering she had ever experienced was suddenly thrown into the empath's face. The spiritual strain was immense, too much. Raven's powers could be held against the waves of emotion no longer, and they doubled back onto her. Trigon's daughter fell into blackness.  
  
---

"Raven... Raven! Are you okay?" The voice of Robin brought Raven back into consciousness and the physical realm. Raven, covered in a cold sweat, shuddered and peered up at the masked face.  
  
"What happened... what did I do?"  
  
"Oh thank goodness! Are you injured, friend?" Starfire's concerned eyes now stared down at her; Raven realized she was on the floor.  
  
"You fainted, Rae... Keeled right over," Cyborg's expression was that of recovering worry.  
  
"Yeah dude, we turned and you where just... still!" Beast Boy chimed in, making a show of shuddering. "You looked like you where a corpse or something."  
  
Starfire whimpered at that thought as Robin offered his hand to Raven. Raven pulled herself up slowly and gave a grateful expression to the Boy Wonder. "Thanks..." Slight color rose to her cheeks.  
  
"Can you remember anything? Do you know how it happened?" Robin's gaze, even through the mask, held Raven under an odd scrutiny. As she thought about what to tell her friends, the girl felt an urge to rip he mask off and see what it was hiding, as though it was the holder of Robin's secrets, and could break through the enigma who was her team leader.  
  
"I... I saw my father; I think this was some sort of warning..." The other members of the team started, Beast Boy leapt, a cat, over to her side, and then resumed his normal form.  
  
"What kind of a warning?"  
  
Raven's head was spinning, she had to get away, had to think. "I don't know... I'm going to my room. I'll be out later."  
  
"What if you should faint again, friend, please do not wander alone!" Starfire pleaded.  
  
Raven sighed, but the other girl was right. "Fine, who of you can be the quietest?"  
  
"I'll come with you." It was Robin who spoke, the obvious choice. Raven was relieved; of all people, Robin had the most respect for her requests of silence and seclusion.  
  
With that, the dark lady began to walk down the hall; Robin following at her heals with his book. The three titans who remained in the television area watched them go, utterly puzzled.  
  
"Dude, spill! What did you two talk about this morning? You know what's going on, don't you!" Beast Boy threw the accusation at Cyborg.  
  
"First, I DON'T know what's going on and second, even if I did know, Raven spoke to me in confidence."  
  
"But Cyborg, what if something should happen, we must know what is wrong with our friend," Starfire looked mildly distraught.  
  
"Guys I promise, any lethal information and I'll tell you two in a second, but what Rae said this morning is her business, and I am going to respect that." Cyborg's voice left no room for argument.  
  
"You'd better," Beast Boy muttered as he vaulted over the back of the couch and resumed his video game. Cyborg followed, thoughtful, and picked up the other controller. "Hey Star, watch me kick furball's butt!"  
  
"Ahem, who will kick whose butt?"  
  
"What an odd custom, is it meant to be painful?"

--------

The silence was refreshing, Raven noted. The icy feeling that had settled inside her was slowly fading to warmth. Though she hated to admit it, the company of the Boy Wonder helped. He was quiet, as promised, reading his book while seated in an unusually tall antique chair. Every few minutes the two would, in unison, glance up to check on one another. Robin would give an encouraging smile, knowing not to pry just yet, and Raven bore a look of gratitude.  
  
Such an instance occurred just as a loud crack came from outside the window. "What was that?" Robin was on his feet immediately.  
  
"Down boy," Raven glided to the window, where a cool breeze was creeping in, "I think it was the tree out front."  
  
Robin stalked over to stand beside her. "I've never seen weather like this before, flood reports are pouring in..."  
  
Raven lifted an eyebrow, giving an incredulous look, "tell me that wasn't a pun."  
  
"If I said it wasn't would you believe me?"  
  
"No, not really."  
  
"Sometimes I need to lighten the mood... it comes from working with Batman." Robin grinned.  
  
"Hnn." Raven gave a careful smile, one that just barely reached her eyes before it was gone without a trace.  
  
"Hey," Robin put a hand on her shoulder in the same manner that Cyborg had done that morning, "we're here for you. If you can accept help... I can try to provide it."  
  
"I know..." Raven's voice was quiet, "Thanks."  
  
He grinned lightly, not wanting to make the day drearier, "We're a team, that's what we do. Feel up to leaving the tower tonight?"  
  
"To go where?"  
  
"Someplace..." Robin held out his hand and caught some stray droplets of rain as they entered through the window screen, "Someplace dry."  
  
---

"Cyborg, can I talk to you?" Robin approached his huge friend in the kitchen. Beast boy was napping as a cat on the sofa, and the two girls where in Starfire's room "bonding."  
  
"I think you already are," Cyborg observed, seating himself.  
  
"It's about-"  
  
"Raven, I know." Cyborg met Robin's taken aback stare. "I was already pestered. Look, man she talked to me in confidence, and I'm not going to be a bad friend by blabbing." The metal man folded his arms.  
  
"I know, trust me. Nobody respects that more than I do."  
  
"But...?"  
  
"But I DO want her to open up to me, like she has with you. I'm concerned." Robin folded his arms in a similar manner.  
  
"Look, man, there's no secret you have to crack or anything, just give it time. She's hard to get close to, and we can never understand what her life has been like."  
  
"Well, I'm taking her for dinner tonight to make her feel better. She's been gloomier than ever lately. I'm just worried we won't be able to connect, we're so different..."  
  
"You're taking her out?!"  
  
"Just a casual thing... a cheap restaurant, you know, nothing special. I'm trying to cheer her up." Robin shrugged, the idea hadn't seemed so ludicrous to him.  
  
Cyborg studied his leader's face, and then grinned. "You'll be fine. You two have a certain dynamic."  
  
"If you say so..."  
  
Yeah, so just having some fun writing this. Let me know what you think, and be honest. I'll continue this story most likely, regardless of the responses it gets.


	2. chapter 2

So far, the evening had been okay, Robin reasoned, casually glancing at his companion. Both had abandoned wearing clothing that gave indication of who they where, Robin had even discarded his mask for the evening. He had made the decision early on, when he was not fighting with the Titans he was Richard Grayson and nothing would change that. The restaurant of choice was a local café with a small selection of food, but surprisingly classy and nice.  
"...That's when I left Azerath behind. I might return some day, but the chances of being allowed back are very small."  
Dick nodded, sincerely interested. Cyborg had been telling the truth, Raven was not as difficult as he had thought to talk with. The Boy Wonder inwardly admitted that he had never thought enough to give getting to know the empath much of a try. In his defense, it had taken critical circumstances for the others to do the same.  
The boy was intrigued by the dark lady's unusual past; part of him felt great sorrow, but her story was so different from any he'd heard that it was near impossible to empathize with the emotions attached to it. "What happened to your mother?"  
"I don't contact her. Ever. It's better that she gets the chance to forget the conflict that she brought into the world. Arella deserves a life free from dwelling on her mistake."  
Dick's eyes widened. The words stung even to him, yet they had been spoken so casually. "Is that what you think of yourself?"  
"I don't think anything of myself, I'm just...me. I'm here and that won't be changed. The fact is what Arella did was a mistake, my being conceived was a mistake."  
He couldn't argue, although he wanted to. Raven seemed untroubled, she had lived her entire life with the knowledge of her heritage, Dick imagined not much about that bothered her. What obviously did, whether or not she would admit it, was the conflict of human and demon in her, coupled with the constant requirement of complete emotional control. He had never given these things thought before, but the boy now pondered them in amazement.  
Raven took a moment to sip her drink, watching his face and sensing his emotional reaction. Suddenly she felt an urgent need to change the subject. "So, now that you've heard my life story... What about yours?"  
The question was unexpected, but Dick resolved to answer it truthfully, and soon found himself spilling parts of his life that had been locked away for years, trapped in his memory. He had a little trouble revealing everything that had happened to him. After all, openness is never the expertise of a masked hero.

-------

"How was it?" Robin didn't even have the chance to sit down before Beast Boy appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. He glanced around in a pronounced way, "Where's Raven?"  
"She went to look for Cyborg, something's wrong with the car."  
"She's not gonna find him, he took Star shopping."  
"Why?" The question flew from his mouth instantly; Cyborg was not a big shopper, as one could imagine.  
"You know how we talked about getting a guard dog?" Beast Boy sounded a little put off.  
"How could I not! Star kept begging and begging, but Cy didn't seem big on the idea... You didn't, either."  
"Well we decided to play for it in a game of cards, if star won, we'd get a dog, if she lost to either of us, no dog." Beast boy had his arms folded.  
"Lost, huh?"  
"Big time."  
"Let me guess, rummy," Ravens voice came from the right.  
"Gah!" Beast Boy squealed as both teens whirled to see her, leaning with her back against the wall, "How long have YOU been there?!"  
"Long enough to know why I couldn't find Cy... so..." Raven turned towards Beast Boy, "they're out getting you a friend, huh? Why aren't you with them?"  
"I...uh... I have pet store issues," Beast Boy visibly shuddered.  
Robin caught Raven's eye, trying not to laugh. The empath's face was dispassionate. "I'm going to my room," she looked at her companions' concerned faces, "I'll... leave the door open."  
Ravens face darkened as she walked silently in the direction of her room, the threat of her father's influence had affected almost her entire life, but now it was destroying one of the few luxuries she had: privacy. She couldn't even be alone in her room, and meditation had become a chore. Whenever she chanted and began to clear her mind, the dark lady would see an image of her father's sneering smile. The image was both frightening and tempting, for it promised great destruction and pain, but also near limitless power. This was what she had been struggling against for her entire life, but Trigon's desire to corrupt his daughter had increased dramatically.  
A wave of nausea hit as the girl began to think about her father. Her vision blurred as she reasoned that he was evil, and needed to be fought. Her knees buckled and Raven collapsed to the floor as her mind shrieked but corruption is the easy path! My problems would be solved, and I would be powerful  
"You would be all powerful, daughter," Trigon's gaze pierced Raven's now-scarlet eyes. She was in that dimension again, she could only assume it was her father's origin, for the land around them was as purely chaotic and damned as the demon who called her 'daughter'.  
"What do you want from me?!" Raven screamed, though there was no need to. The dark lady's head was spinning as she became torn between two options. She could sense the power that sat so freely for the taking, and her dark side yearned for it, forcing her thoughts to become corrupted, greedy, and violently malicious. Her other half was pleading for her not to lose control, to fight her father, assuring her with any reserves it could muster that corruption had to be avoided, that her father had to be fought.  
In a last desperate attempt to regain control, Ravens mind flashed an image of her teammates, all smiling, looking very inviting. Another image of those same people twisted in pain, their faces contorted with horror, and herself the very cause of it. It was enough to make someone sick with misery. But it was to no avail, rage and power from Trigon began to consume the girl.

--  
"RAVEN!"  
The loud yell caused Raven's eyes to fly open. She had awoken just in time, it seemed. The girl was breathing heavily, and could not seem to blink her widened eyes. She glanced at Beast boy, who's cry had jolted her back to their own reality.  
"Raven," Robin's concerned face stared down at her, and his voice was gentle, "are you okay?"  
The same icy feeling from her last episode was present in her chest, preoccupying the empath's thoughts. "I... I ," a wave of annoyance hit her suddenly and she hissed, "what do you think?!"  
Robin and Beast Boy glanced at one another, obviously appalled, and turned back to their companion.  
"Sorry..." Ravens voice was quiet, she was not looking up, "I didn't mean to say that."  
Beast Boy's clueless expression was not returned this time, Robin was still watching Raven, very troubled by her behavior.  
There was no further chance to dwell, however, as Starfire and Cyborg burst into the tower. Raven was on her feet in an instant, and stood casually beside the boys, acting as though nothing had happened.  
"Friends!" Starfire was overjoyed, "see what I have taken in in the earth custom of caring for another species." Starfire held up the white creature for all to see, "His name is Zmorg!"  
Raven, Robin, and Beast Boy where slow to react, merely staring for a moment.  
"Um...Star?" Robin finally ventured.  
"Yes Robin?"  
"You do know what that is, don't you?"  
"Dude, that's a goose!" Beast Boy's tone was disbelieving.  
"Keen observation," Raven muttered, eying the bird with a mixture of disdain and amusement. It was really a very fitting pet for the strange alien. He was almost ridiculously simple-looking, all white with an orange bill, and Starfire had even thought to tie a pink ribbon on his head.  
"What happened to getting a dog...?" Beast Boy's tone was weak.  
"We got a dog," Starfire had a smile on her face rivaled only by that of an excited child on Christmas day, "but when I saw this delightful creature in the park, I decided he must have a home as well!"  
'Zmorg' as he was christened, chose that moment to give a decidedly loud honk, causing Starfire's grin to grow even larger.  
"Well, he likes her..." Cyborg had obviously had some issues with this, too, but Starfire had been quick to become attached to the creature, "This is the dog we found, I thought he'd make a good guard dog." Cyborg gave a small jerk on the leash. "He's a Phira- a... ph-"  
"Pharaoh hound." Everyone stared at Beast boy, "What? I watch animal planet a lot..."  
The dog was a beautiful chestnut color, and resembled a jackal somewhat. The creature was very intrigued with these new people, and was upon them in a second, sniffing all three people and enjoying the attention it received.  
Robin glanced to Raven, curious about her reaction to such a creature. He had never seen her around animals before, and personally was very glad that Cyborg had managed to pick a respectable and attractive dog; he would make a good watch hound. Robin had expected the usual less-than- enthused expression on the dark lady's face, but was amazed to see the corners of her mouth turned up in a small smile.

--  
  
Okay, a lot of that chapter was useless, but I promise next chapter will be better/longer... I just don't feel like doing that right now... I felt it good to close on the lighthearted side, although the story hasn't become dark yet. Eh, I give up.

Yeah, I know the spacing is horrible, the problem is that I have to change the file type, but I'm making an attempt to doctor the mistakes somewhat...


	3. chapter 3

It was not a typical scene in the tower late that night. On the couch facing the television set sat Raven. She was sitting with her eyes closed and Robin was very positive that she was sleeping in that position. Beast Boy had volunteered to be the bird's keeper that evening, and lay at her side as a kitten, sleeping. The Pharaoh Hound laid regally at Raven's feet, tongue lazily lolling out of his mouth, he looked very much at home.  
Starfire had been too concerned after hearing about her friend's last spell, and slept on the couch, curled up like an animal next to the dark lady. Zmorg the goose was wandering the tower ("I SWEAR if I find ANY goose shit-" Cyborg's earlier reaction had been met with and ended by Starfire's tearing eyes), and faint honks where occasionally echoing throughout the building. Raven had earlier made sure to shut all the doors, however tempted as she was to leave the exit open.  
Robin and Cyborg had retired to the kitchen, where they sat and chatted in whisper. They didn't sleep out of concern, but there was something else, too. A mood had overtaken the tower and unsettled both young men. The decision was sort of unanimous among the team that everyone would stay close for the time being, especially the resident empath.  
Robin had just described the evening's episode to Cyborg, who pondered it thoroughly. "Well, do you think she was just 'girl-pissed' when she woke up, or something else?"  
"That's kind of a tough call to make," Robin answered dryly.  
"Well, Rae's not known for niceness, but I think she'd have more control than that outburst showed." Cyborg commented.  
"The weird thing is, it didn't affect her at all; her powers didn't lash out or anything!"  
"Well, what do you think that means?"  
"I don't know for sure," Robin gave the couch an anxious glance. "Maybe I should wake her up and-"  
Cyborg was violently shaking his head. "She needs sleep. She's going through a lot."  
Robin sighed, "Cyborg, I really think that you should tell me what she said to you this morning," He glanced at the clock, "er... Yesterday morning."  
"I told you dude, it's not relative at all. She's just been having some control issues." Cyborg looked a bit guilty even saying that little.  
"A detective needs ALL of the information, never leave any details out." The statement flew out of his mouth, and Robin realized he was quoting Batman. The Dark Knight had given the boy wonder the exact same lecture four years before, when he had just become Robin.  
"Yes sir," Cyborg grinned at his friend's seriousness. "But really, man, I know we'll get to the bottom of this."  
"Maybe it's just time for Raven to face her father. I want to be able to help her," Both boys glanced at the couch in unison.  
Robin kept his gaze glued onto the empath, but Cyborg's drifted to the window. "I can't believe it's still raining..."

------  
Raven's eyes shot open. The girl recalled the previous day, going over every detail in her memory, including her father's "visits". She then glanced at her two companions, feeling a brief moment of guilt.  
"They care about me," her mind whined miserably, "they stay with me all night just to make sure I'm okay. But I chose greed." The guilt grew a bit stronger as Raven closed her eyes, "I was given the choice between living as a hero with people who love me, and power. I chose corruption over my team and my friends!"  
Raven had failed to observe the chair that had begun levitating. Naturally, when she snapped back into control, it came crashing down on the floor. The dark girl cringed, and squinted in the dim light. Thankfully, it seemed that her companions remained asleep. All but the hound, who rose as Raven did and followed her to the kitchen.  
"Water's already on," Raven nearly jumped at the sound of Robin's voice.  
"Did the chair...?"  
"Yeah. But I think I'm the only one." Robin grinned, Raven half- returned it. "It's a cold morning."  
"What time is it?" Raven glanced out the window as she asked.  
"Nine O'clock. Dreary weather..." The rain had let up some, but the sky was still dark with heavy clouds.  
"It's kind of strange." Raven looked down at the canine beside her, he was making an anxious sound. "We should let him outside."  
Robin just nodded, following as the empath approached the exit.  
Once out of doors, the Boy Wonder suddenly realized, "Hey- won't he run off?"  
"No." Raven's hood was up. Robin decided not to question her response, curious as he was at her certainty.  
"Listen, Raven. I know you don't like having to talk about this, but I want to help you with whatever is going on." Raven was turned away, bothered, as he had expected. "Please Raven, I'm here to help; the whole team is. Let us help you."  
"There's nothing you can do." Ravens voice, though strong, was quiet.  
"I don't believe that." Despite the situation, Raven found his reaction amusing. The boy was so determined, one of his best qualities was determination.  
"I know very little about this myself, Robin. If it was otherwise I would be taking more action."  
"Well at least help me understand what's going on," Robin peered into the empath's face as she turned to look at him.  
"My father is offering me power, the power I have potential to use if I become what I truly am, the daughter of Trigon. He wants me to be corrupt like he is, a demon. Choosing the power that corruption offers would be giving up everything I have fought all of my life to have. I would become as damned as the souls that my father has taken, but I would be rewarded, rather than punished, by immense power, and influence over many different realities." Admittedly, she had been waiting for Robin to ask for this information, and was not surprised when he looked shocked at those words spilling from the dark lady's mouth so readily.  
Not wanting to sound stupid (Raven was the only person he ever had to worry about that with) Robin spoke, "Can you fight it? I mean- he can't force you to accept corruption... can he?"  
"No," Raven moved closer to her companion, not wanting to speak loudly, "but he knows how to manipulate me. If I can't defeat him, my father will kill me in my own mind. If I fight corruption, I fight my father. I would gladly choose death and free souls from my threat... but. The power is tempting. My human side and my demon side are both entranced by such a promise. In fact- you can't share what I say next with ANYONE else," Raven's gaze pierced past Robin's mask, straight into his eyes and soul.  
"I won't, I promise."  
"Swear."  
"I swear."  
"I was succumbing to corruption when I was brought back into reality yesterday. I would have become a damned half demon if I had been brought back even one second later than I was," Though her voice had remained quietly monotonous, Raven fought back tears, aware of the trees in front of her slowly uprooting themselves. The empath had not cried once since the day of her birth, now was not the time to start.  
Robin's eyes where wide. "Raven..."  
"If I become corrupted, my first target will be this team. I want to fight against my father, but when it comes down to it, I don't think I will. I have to destroy myself before he can get to me." Raven hung her head slightly, the thought bothered her more than she had expected.  
"Never." Raven shot a scorning look to Robin, but he persisted, "I won't let you die, and neither will the others. We are going to defeat Trigon, once and for all."  
"Now that you've made your speech," Raven's down was cynical and cold, "get serious."  
"I AM serious. Raven, as long as I'm alive, the members of this team are my responsibility. You guys are my family. I'm going to help you face Trigon, danger or no."  
"My soul might be happier, damned and dead," Raven argued bitterly, although it was clear she was not trying anymore. "I would be free to express my emotions and not feel trapped within my body. Even screaming in torture would be better than suppressing everything I feel."  
Robin's heart went out to the girl suddenly. Her soul was so full of pure emotions, for that is what souls thrive on. Yet here she was, a girl who had endured seventeen years of forcing feelings away, vanishing all forms of expression and feeling, and living only for meditation and the occasional chance to smile without destroying something.  
The rain began to pick up again, they would head in soon to join with the others. Before anything, however, Robin wanted to do something he wouldn't have considered before two days back. He embraced the empath in as comforting a hug as he could manage. She was still in his arms, grateful for the comfort of them, throwing her pride away for this one weak moment. The two where soaked now after being out so long. Raven was unusually cold. After a minute had passed, the dark lady pulled away, the rain was back in full, as heavy as it had been the previous day.  
"...Let's go inside."  
Robin held the door, suddenly feeling as though he might have upset her, "Was that okay?"  
Raven just met his gaze, "You're a good friend."

-------  
Cyborg was beginning to wonder if he was not loyal as a friend to have all these conversations with Robin about Raven. This time, Beast Boy was in on it as well. They had convinced Starfire to bring the dark lady out of the tower so the conversation could take place, Robin would fill her in later. Of course the girl had gladly accepted, and immediately ran to Raven's room, an unhappy Zmorg clutched in her arms.  
"So if Raven fights back she DIES?" Beast Boy was hysterical, "That's not fair!"  
"No kidding," Cyborg said darkly, "We have to figure something out."  
Robin said nothing. Yes that would be a challenge. But what Raven had confided in him was another concern, one he alone would have to bear. Could he somehow keep the beautiful half demon from becoming corrupted? Not alone... But that didn't mean he wasn't going to try.

------  
"Isn't it wonderful to be out of the tower? And Zmorg looks much happier!"  
"About that," Raven stopped walking down the mall's floor for a moment, "Humans generally don't keep geese as pets."  
"They don't?" Starfire seemed genuinely surprised.  
"Yeah, I figured one of the guys would tell you that. Anyway, they won't allow him in the mall."  
"But where shall he stay?"  
"How about outside..."  
"All by himself?" Starfire was concerned.  
"He'll live, trust me."  
"Very well..."


	4. Chapter 4

Raven and Starfire walked out of the large building, each holding a black umbrella up against the persistent weather. The air was gray and hazy, but the day had given it's humble gift already. It was mildly warmer than had been normal recently, and it made the wet more bearable.

Raven walked a ways ahead of her companion, knowing that the other girl would not mind; both where eager to get to the car and be out of the rain. Under more regular circumstances, Raven liked rain. 'Hell,' she thought, 'storms can be much better than sunny days.'

This was not ordinary weather, however, and circumstances where even less normal. The constant wet had not only grown old and unwanted, but it made the dark lady feel more on edge. Her irritability was coupled with an odd feeling of isolation that, originally the product of a bad mood, had elevated itself to anxiety and despair.

"Oh no! Raven we have lost a dear soul to the earth's unwanted shadows..." Starfire's voice held the remorse of one whose suffering wavered beyond human comprehension. Though familiar with that sort of feeling, Raven was very certain that her friend would not lament her loss for too long.

"Let me guess..."

"Zmorg is gone! I don't understand, he was just here..."

Noticing that her friend was on the verge of tears, Raven sighed. She could hardly believe that such a mean trick had been played by herself, but it had been for the sake of her teammates.

"Let me tell you what geese do in the winter."

-----------------

"Where are they?" Robin asked, an incessant question on this particular day. "they've been gone for five hours."

"Dude, relax," Beast Boy looked bored as he read, a pastime saved for only the most dull of afternoons, "They're girls... at the mall."

"He's right. Besides, Raven will spend hours in clothing and book stores and Star will make a point of going in every single store at least twice." Cyborg was flipping through a magazine, equally bored.

"I know, they always do. But what if Raven has an attack?"

"Star is with her. Man, just relax," Beast Boy was mildly annoyed.

"I should have told them not to go. It's my duty to protect them."

"Like you could have stopped her," Beast Boy said, meaning Raven.

"Yeah," Cyborg agreed, "Besides, your duty is to the innocent people. Star is too smart and strong to be called innocent..."  
"Yeah she only seems that way."

"-and Raven... as far as innocence goes..." Beast Boy and Cyborg both chuckled as Robin grinned.

"Still, I'd feel better if they-" but his speech was interrupted by the entrance of the two ladies of the tower. The hound silently bounded over, straight to Starfire.

"See." Raven said with satisfaction, mouthing 'I did it!' to Robin, "You don't need... a goose. The dog likes you."

'The dog' had become its unofficial name. Nobody had thought to name it yet, and there seemed to be no real reason. The creature was already blending perfectly into the lifestyle if the team. But, Raven noticed, it had taken particular fondness to her and Starfire.

"As you can see," Starfire's tone was sympathetic, sure that her friends would share the same remorse she felt, "we have lost a valued soul. I shall go make the pudding of sadness."

The guys shared with each other an odd mixture of feelings. Disgust for the mention of Tamaranian cuisine, sympathy for Starfire's hurt, and humor for the sheer absurdity of it all. She disappeared into the kitchen.

All eyes crept to Raven. "She'll be over it soon."

Beas Boy stepped forward and made a show of bowing and hugging the dark lady's legs, much to her dismay, "Thank you so much."

"Yeah..." Cyborg patted her on the back, "You saved us some trouble."

Raven made an effort to smile, uncomfortable with the contact.

----------

Later that evening, the group had split up in various places among the tower. Raven found herself having to be monitored still, however, and was miffed to say the least. She was getting sick, much as she loved her teammates, of the constant invasion of privacy.

At least it was Robin's shift. Raven could hear the sound of her own voice chanting the words she had used so many times. She had often though how odd they sounded, and at this point in her development, how useless. There was just something about that incantation that made her feel whole. Azerath had been where she picked it up, using it as a spiritual crutch until she had gained more control. Now, the girl could feel more connected to the place she had been a child in when she used those words... perhaps that was the reasoning behind them.

"Hey Raven," Raven was surprised. Robin was the one person who she could trust to NOT interrupt meditation. They where located just outside of Raven's room, sitting on the hall floor in the quiet of the tower. With anyone else, Raven would have ignored them or spoken tersely to relate her annoyance, but he was different. Convincing herself that it was just because this was the first occurrence of interruption, the dark girl answered.

"Yes?" Raven's tone was unusually thoughtful; certainly not the hollow voice Robin usually heard when she meditated.

"I wanted to know how you where doing..."

"Fine." Raven was about to go back to meditating when Robin grabbed her arm.

"You know what I mean, Raven. I told you I was going to help you, so I''m going to need you to make it less difficult." Both stared.

"What am I supposed to say?" Raven challenged.

"Nothing... Well, just acknowledge that there's a problem."

"Trust me, I have given a fair share of notice to this issue." Raven's voice was dry and a bit harsh.

Robin chose to ignore her moodiness, "Just tell me if something is ever wrong, okay?"

There was no answer.

"Raven?" Robin was peering into the empath's face as her eyelids snapped shut and her body slumped forwards.

Frantic, Robin grabbed the girl's shoulders. He had planned on calling for help but was suddenly hit with a wave of nausea.

"What's happening?" the boy wonder sputtered as he tried desperately to let go. The feeling got stronger and he could not help but fall under. Robin plummeted out of consciousness in an instant. He would join Raven the half demon, and two souls would face the terror of Trigon's reality this time.

-------

That was how they where found by a certain shapeshifter just a few minutes later. Beast Boy had stumbled upon the birds on his way to the kitchen and immediately shouted to the others. All three of them now stood over the two, unsure of what to do and utterly confused as to what had gone on.

Robin's fingers still clutched Raven's shoulders, and the two where slumped together against the wall: to the trained eyes of the team the two members where quite obviously alive. Still, their expressions where eerily blank.

"I do not understand," Starfire eyed Robin's clutched fingers, "Its like the contact made him go with her."

The idea seemed silly, but it was the only offer able explanation for Robin's lack of consciousness. The three looked uncomfortably at one another, worried. They had all tried to wake the other to, but to no avail.

"Maybe we should... move them to the infirmary," Beast Boy offered the grave suggestion.

The severity was realized then.

Sorry it's so short... I'm on vacation...


End file.
